Chloe has begun her day treatment at the behavioral health center and we have entered a whole new world where our problems are everyone else's every day norm. There is so much comfort in being around others who know what it is like!
Chloe is really liking all of the different types of groups and therapies, she's getting one on one schooling and making new friends. I am enjoying sharing with and learning from other parents Who were thrown into this whole new learning curve just like me, learning skills from the therapists and especially letting someone who actually knows what they are doing take care of Chloe's specific needs and challenges.
I can tell that people think I am crazy for homeschooling at this time. Clara's guidance counselor is so thoughtful and concerned about us, she has helped me manage Clara's 504 plan and helped us survive Jr High while managing ADHD. Recently she communicated with me a few times that she would not advise pulling Clara out. I wrote her an email this morning explaining our decision and thought, "what the heck, I might as well just share it with everyone so that anyone else who is curious can understand why I'm doing it."
Hi Mrs. Buckwalter,
Thank you so much for all that you have done to help my girls and me as their parent. Your advice has been so valuable and helped us make school a smoother experience. I'm sure from your perspective it looks as if I am making a rash decision by pulling Clara out and I really appreciate your concern. Let me assure you, I have been researching and praying about and contemplating homeschooling Clara since I put her into the public school system at kindergarten age.
At that time I already recognized that she doesn't "fit the mold", socially, personality wise, and by the way she learns so I began researching "out of the box" types of education to see if something more individualized would maybe be a better fit than public school. At that time, we felt that public schooling was the way we should go. She has had wonderful, caring teachers and friends and has made great academic strides, however it hasn't always been a great experience. Every year we re-visit the idea of pulling her out and gauge the impact on home and family as well as Clara as a student and individual. We have always encouraged her input on this and up until now, the support she has received from her friends has been worth the problems in other areas such as:
- she doesn't always learn the concepts in class because she either isn't focusing or doesn't respond to the teacher's style or pace, therefore we spend an exorbitant amount of time at home learning the concepts ourselves as her parents so that we can then teach her in the way we know she learns best.
- We spend lots and lots of time doing homework but then she doesn't always turn it in, or bring it home, or stay on task once at home. It takes an exorbitant amount of time on my part to help her stay on top of it all and coordinate with 10 different teachers. Add missing work and absences to the mix and it becomes overwhelming.
- Everyone is stressed out about school, and deadlines and tests and make-up work all the time and love of learning is becoming lost somewhere in the midst.
She has now reached a stage in her life where:
a. Her friends are moving forward in their social development and she is still working on more basic skills. I realize this is a normal shift at around 8th grade, but she's feeling like she's lost her normal and comfortable support group of friends and now the other school problems aren't worth it anymore.
b. With Chloe being in all day behavioral health treatment, the majority of my time needs to be spent on providing an atmosphere of healing for the entire family, and eliminating stress. I would need to pull Clara out on certain days in order to be involved in family therapy for Chloe. I feel that at this point, the distance to Sunset from South Weber is a huge obstacle, as well as the time spent helping Clara stay organized and on top of her grades. I have been feeling ready to try something new for a long time, and with this little family re-boot we are having, it seems like the perfect opportunity for both Clara and the rest of us. If we were ever going to try it, now is the time.
Rest assured, my children' education is of highest priority, which is exactly why I'm pulling her out. I think Sunset is a great school with wonderful teachers, I'd at least like to try and see if a different and more individualized approach would work better for her. I'd like to work on her socialization and coping skills in a variety of environments, rich in values and focused on strengthening moral character, rather than the artificial social and class structure Junior high students seem to create for themselves. Maybe I'm wrong and our homeschooling curriculum will be a flop, but at least I will know that we tried and it didn't work so we can move forward with public school knowing it is our best option.
In the end all of those reasons are really trumped by this strong feeling, whether it be a mother's intuition or from a higher power or both, that at this time, it is just the right thing for us to do. When I have trusted that feeling in the past, it has led me to good things.
She is still wanting to continue working with Mrs. Wilcox in the Singers group, perhaps we can work out a schedule where it can be her first or last period and she will be able to ride the bus one way? If you would be willing to work with me on this, I'd be so grateful.
I hope this explains a little bit better.
Thank you,
Molly Collings
Interesting changes happening in the life of the Collings family, but I have a feeling they are all good! I guess we will find out!
Love you all!
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