Searching for Truth

Recently due to the Church of Jesus Christ's new policy regarding members who engage in same gender marriages and their children, John and I have been witness to a new bombardment of accusations and arguments against the church we love. 


Disclaimer alert!!!

This is my blog, a place for me to gather my thoughts.  These are my thoughts alone.  I'm not a church leader or an official representative of the LDS church.  You don't have to read ahead.  My writing this here is not an invitation for debate or any type of comments in support or against my thoughts.  This is simply a declaration of how I feel, and a description of things I have used in my spiritual journey that might be helpful for others...you don't have to agree.


As a convert to the LDS faith, I have always had an inquisitive mind and hungered to "figure things out".  Asking questions is good by the way.  The more I read the scriptures it is evident that Heavenly Father wants us to be spiritually self reliant and think for ourselves, and that asking questions is essential to our spiritual progress. 


So any questions you may have about church history or policies or actions of former church leaders that don't make sense, I have already had... BIG TIME...and worked really hard with my Heavenly Father to seek for answers and understand for myself. 


As the only member in my family, and with family members who oppose the church and it's teachings, I have had multiple opportunities throughout the years to study things out in my mind and figure out what I believe in the face of accusations.   


I attended a Time Out for Women, in which Sheri Dew spoke on exactly this topic.  She sited Enos chapter 1 verse 2.


 "And I will tell you of the wrestle which I had before God, before I received a remission of my sins."

Then she posed the question, "Are you willing to engage in the wrestle?  Are you willing to go through the process of wrestling before God to find out the truth of principles for yourself?"

That is exactly what I have been doing for the past 20 years.  If I genuinely ask the Lord to show me the truth, He always will.  

Sometimes it has required huge paradigm shifts, and the letting go of false philosophies of men and society that have been ingrained in me since childhood.  Sometimes I have to gain a testimony of one or two foundational principle first, in order to understand a much larger picture.  

Sometimes I need to follow the counsel of Jeffrey R. Holland and  "hold fast to what you already know and stand strong until additional knowledge comes."  

Most often, the additional knowledge has always come.  But if it hasn't, 

"In this Church, what we know will always trump what we do not know. And remember, in this world, everyone is to walk by faith."


Elder Uchdorf nailed it during April 2011 Conference in his talk "Waiting on the road to Damascus". 

"The truth is, those who diligently seek to learn of Christ eventually will come to know Him. They will personally receive a divine portrait of the Master, although it most often comes in the form of a puzzle—one piece at a time. Each individual piece may not be easily recognizable by itself; it may not be clear how it relates to the whole. Each piece helps us to see the big picture a little more clearly. Eventually, after enough pieces have been put together, we recognize the grand beauty of it all. Then, looking back on our experience, we see that the Savior had indeed come to be with us—not all at once but quietly, gently, almost unnoticed."


I testify that this is true.  If you are struggling with any questions, you can talk to me about them because odds are, I have been through the wrestle about that exact thing.  I just wanted to write my thoughts about it all down in the place where I like to write thoughts down. 


Part I. - Searching for Answers


Things that have helped me as I have sought for truth:


Involve your Heavenly Father in your search for truth.  "If any of ye lack wisdom, let him ask of God." Sincere questions are not the same thing as doubts.  Doubt the principle or the action, not your Heavenly Father.  If you sincerely ask Him, the source of all truth for help in finding your answers, rather than the philosophies of men, you will not go wrong. 


Remain obedient as you are seeking answers.     March 2015 Ensign article by Adam Kotter:

"A sincere questioner continues to be obedient while searching for answers. By contrast, I have seen that when people doubt their beliefs, they often suspend their commitment to commandments and covenants while waiting for answers. The doubter’s posture is generally to withhold obedience or limit it, pending resolution of the doubts.

There is no suggestion in the scriptures or the teachings of the prophets that encourages doubt. In fact, the scriptures are full of teachings to the contrary. For example, we are enjoined to 'doubt not, fear not'(D&C 6:36). And in Mormon 9:27, we are encouraged to 'doubt not, but be believing.'

One problem with doubt is the intent to obey only afterthe uncertainty is resolved to the satisfaction of the doubter. This is the attitude personified by Korihor, who said, 'If thou wilt show unto me a sign … then will I be convinced of the truth'(Alma 30:43).

The power of doubt to destroy faith, hope, and even family is diminished the minute one sincerely says, 'I will do the things the Lord has commanded, whether my questions are resolved quickly or ever, because I have covenanted to do so.' The difference between a faithful 'I will keep the commandments because …” and a doubtful “I will keep the commandments if …' is of powerful and eternal import."

Don't make your own rules.  Remember that the Lord has a pattern for receiving answers.  

"As a network engineer, I have to follow strict guidelines if I want my computer networks to be able to communicate with other networks. Sometimes these rules can seem tedious, but when each network engineer follows the same standards, we are able to create something more powerful than each of us working on our own could.

  Likewise, if you seek an answer to a spiritual question from the Source of all knowledge, then you have to follow His rules to get the answer. This process requires at least a desire to understand the truth and a willingness to follow God’s will (see Alma 32:27). Otherwise, you run the risk of talking yourself into the answers you want to believe rather than receiving true answers from God.

It is perfectly normal to feel concern and uneasiness when confronted with an unfamiliar idea, especially if it challenges a strongly held belief. What matters is not letting that uneasiness turn us from our covenants during our search for answers. I have learned from personal experience that we cannot turn our back on God and then expect Him to answer our questions on our terms. It takes faith to continue keeping the commandments while our uncertainty is being resolved. It may be tempting to withhold or limit our obedience pending convincing resolution of our concerns, but this is not God’s way.

In practical terms, we must first ask ourselves, “Am I willing to do what it takes to get an answer from the Lord, or do I simply want to do things my way?” The Savior Himself taught this pattern when He said, 'If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself' (John 7:17)."

I love this quote by Tad Callister:  “I can live with some human imperfections, even among prophets of God—that is to be expected in mortal beings. I can live with some alleged scientific findings contrary to the Book of Mormon; time will correct those. And I can live with some seeming historical anomalies; they are minor in the total landscape of truth. But I cannot live without the doctrinal truths and ordinances restored by Joseph Smith, I cannot live without the priesthood of God to bless my family, and I cannot live without knowing my wife and children are sealed to me for eternity. That is the choice we face—a few unanswered questions on one hand versus a host of doctrinal certainties and the power of God on the other.”

Part II - recognizing the adversary's tactics


Once I began studying, it turns out the arguments against the church are not new...in fact they are the same old arguments that existed hundreds or even thousands of years ago, as recorded in scripture.  In the Book of Mormon, another testament of Jesus Christ, a spiritual and historical record of an ancient people, they encountered social changes, wars and peaceful times not unlike ours today.


In Alma Chapter 30 verse six:  

"6 But it came to pass in the latter end of the seventeenth year, there came a man into the land of Zarahemla, and he was Anti-Christ, for he began to preach unto the people against the prophecies which had been spoken by the prophets, concerning the coming of Christ.

 7 Now there was no law against a man’s belief; for it was strictly contrary to the commands of God that there should be a law which should bring men on to unequal grounds."

Sounds like they had their own sort of democratic or constitutional laws set in place, just like us.  

Enter the Anti-Christ:  Korihor.  

I hesitated finding examples of a modern day anti-Christ because most of the people who criticize the church are well educated, moral and ethical, well meaning people.  Calling someone an anti-Christ feels like turning them into a cartoon evil villain.  

However, the more I have studied, with the firm belief that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is just that....the literal modern day church of Jesus Christ, led by him through true prophets and revelation (I have witnessed too many miracles and had too many tangible personal experiences to deny this for myself) then anyone preaching against the teachings of the prophets IS in fact anti-Christ.  This verse in Alma teaches that an anti-Christ is someone who "preaches against the prophecies which had been spoken by the prophets."

Enter modern day Anti-Christ:  John Dehlin

A former BYU graduate, well educated recently excommunicated church member who uses the gift of free speech to preach against and criticize our church leaders, and I'm sure with good intentions, supports others who feel to do the same.  

I couldn't help but notice some similarities.

A Side By Side Comparison of Alma Chapter 30’s Antichrist Korihor to  modern day Antichrist John Dehlin and other similar church critics.
Challenging and discrediting prophets
Korihor:  (Alma 30) 14 Behold, these things which ye call prophecies, which ye say are handed down by holy prophets, behold, they are foolish traditions of your fathers.  18 And thus he did preach unto them, leading away the hearts of many, causing them to lift up their heads in their wickedness, yea, leading away many women, and also men, to commit whoredoms—telling them that when a man was dead, that was the end thereof. 23  Because I do not teach the foolish traditions of your fathers, and because I do not teach this people to bind themselves down under the foolish ordinances and performances which are laid down by ancient priests, to usurp power and authority over them, to keep them in ignorance, that they may not lift up their heads, but be brought down according to thy words.  24 Ye say that this people is a free people. Behold, I say they are in bondage. Ye say that those ancient prophecies are true. Behold, I say that ye do not know that they are true. 27 And thus ye lead away this people after the foolish traditions of your fathers, and according to your own desires; and ye keep them down, even as it were in bondage, that ye may glut yourselves with the labors of their hands, that they durst not look up with boldness, and that they durst not enjoy their rights and privileges.	John Dehlin: (quotes are from statements on his blog) I believe that many LDS church leaders have good intentions, but I am deeply troubled by their historical and current treatment of racial and sexual minorities, and scientists/intellectuals. I am also troubled by their historical and current approaches to faith/doubt, sexuality, the pursuit of vast commercial interests along with financial non-disclosure, the coercion/shaming of members through the withholding of temple and priesthood privileges, and the current culture of leader worship within the LDS church.  I believe that the discouraging of criticism of LDS church leaders is possibly the single most pernicious and damaging aspect of LDS church culture — and that sunlight and candor are ultimately the best disinfectants.
Dismissing faith and requiring proof
Korihor: 15 How do ye know of their surety? Behold, ye cannot know of things which ye do not see; therefore ye cannot know that there shall be a Christ.	Dehlin: I do not believe that anyone has any idea what God and/or the afterlife are really like (if these things, indeed, exist at all).  And so, while I respect non-judgmental forms of religious belief, I believe that believers walk by hope/faith alone (not knowledge), and that non-believers are to be respected for their courage to disbelieve.   I believe that when science and religion collide, science almost always wins and religion retreats, and that this historical fact should lead religious people to respect/embrace, and not fear/reject science and reason.
Blames faith on a “frenzied mind, false traditions” which modern day critics have labeled Confirmation Bias Promotes Moral relativism which we also see today
Korihor: 16 Ye look forward and say that ye see a remission of your sins. But behold, it is the effect of a frenzied mind; and this derangement of your minds comes because of the traditions of your fathers, which lead you away into a belief of things which are not so. 17 And many more such things did he say unto them, telling them that there could be no atonement made for the sins of men, but every man fared in this life according to the management of the creature; therefore every man prospered according to his genius, and that every man conquered according to his strength; and whatsoever a man did was no crime.	Philosophies of modern day critics: Confirmation bias, also called confirmatory bias is the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms one's beliefs or hypotheses, while giving disproportionately less consideration to alternative possibilities. (Wikipedia) “When it comes to moral issues there are no universally objective right or wrong answers, no inappropriate or appropriate judgments, and no reasonable or rational ways by which to make moral distinctions that apply in every time, in every place, and to every person.” This is the belief applied by many in the popular media and in current peer pressure. “Break free of the old rules. Do what feels good to you. There is no accountability beyond what man’s laws or public disapproval impose on those who are caught.” Behind such ideas is the assumption that there is no God or, if there is, He has given no commandments that apply to us today.  (Witnesses of God - Elder Dallin H. Oaks) "The concept of "traditional marriage" has changed over time, and the definition of marriage as always being between one man and one woman is historically inaccurate." (Gay Marriage pro-con.org)

I like how Alma responds and I have taken cues from him as I stand in the face of accusations:

 40 And now what evidence have ye that there is no God, or that Christ cometh not? I say unto you that ye have none, save it be your word only.

 41 But, behold, I have all things as a testimony that these things are true; and ye also have all things as a testimony unto you that they are true; and will ye deny them? Believest thou that these things are true?

Part III - In addition to the many many Relief Society and Young Women's lessons I have studied for as a teacher within my ward, there are talks and books that have changed my life and that the Spirit has guided me to as I have sought for answers to hard questions.  I can only really remember the recent ones, but there have been so, so many.

- Why Marriage and Family Matter Everywhere in the World - L. Tom Perry
- The Eternal Perspective of the Gospel - Rafael e. Pino
- Waiting on the Road to Damascus - Dieter F. Uchtdorf
- Lord I Believe - Jeffrey R. Holland
- The Plan of Happiness - Boyd K. Packer
- It Works Wonderfully - Dieter F. Uchtdorf
- Be Not Afraid, Only Believe - Dieter F. Uchtdorf
- Turn to Him and Answers Will Come - James B. Martino
- Elder Christofferson Interview Regarding New Policy
- A Plea to my Sisters - Russell M. Nelson
- Choose the Light - Vern P. Stanfill
- Women and the Priesthood - Sheri Dew
- The Turning, Why the State of the Family Matters, and What the World Can Do about it

What do Women Get? - Sheri Dew
Fair Mormon.org
Plural Marriage in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
Race and the Priesthood
Are Mormons Christian?
Joseph Smith's Teachings about Priesthood, Temple, and Women
Book of Mormon and DNA Studies
Elder Ballard God Is At The Helm


I hope these can be of use to someone else, or at least a reference for me in the future by having them all written down in one place.  Over the years, I have done an about face in my beliefs about the family and why it matters.  I have a testimony of the Plan of Salvation.    It is called the Great Plan of Happiness for a reason....it is about a loving Heavenly Father who cares for all of His children and wants them to return home to Him with every opportunity to be just like Him.

Helping all of Heavenly Father's children to grow and be nurtured, to have all of their developmental needs be met so that they might be happy and healthy human beings who contribute to making the world better...this has become one of my biggest life missions and I find joy as I seek to do this in a variety of ways.  Part of doing this is standing by all of the teachings, revelations and policies of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

One thing I know for a surety through tried and tested life successes and failures...the gospel of Jesus Christ leads to true happiness.  In this life and / or the next.

This is just a small fraction of my testimony and I hope it helps yours.