I also received a lot of advice from friends whom had been Mas and Pas before. I tried to prepare in every way. I studied the entire trek manual from front to back. I sewed neck coolers filled with water beads so that my kids could have cool necks. I got a spray bottle because someone suggested spraying their faces with cool water. I was advised to get lip balm with spf so their lips won't get burned. I bought clippers for their toenails to prevent painful toes. Nylons to prevent blisters. Special fast acting allergy medication. Essential oils for all ailments. Extra tarps, bungees and tent stakes so that we could have a decent shelter. Glide to prevent chaffing.
We spent every weekend for a full two months shopping for trek supplies or tracking down things to borrow. I ended up sewing Clara's and my outfits rather than borrowing because I knew I would need them again for other kids down the road. Out of all the special equipment we needed, finding button up shirts for us ended up being the most challenging tasks...go figure.
Spiritually, I prepared by fasting for my family and the kids that would be in it. I went to the temple and asked for inspiration in what I should share with the kids at the devotionals for my portion. I took it really seriously because I understood that we only had three days to make an impact and I wanted it to be the Lord's message. I felt very strongly about the messages that were given to me. Here is what we shared:
Day 1 - Walking through the Wyoming prairie is HOT!!! It's uncomfortable. I was prompted to talk about the Refiner's fire. I love this Mormon message about the refiner's fire on Youtube:
Click Here
It shows a blacksmith carefully holding metal over the hottest part of the fire, molding it, pounding it and twisting it. It looks like it's being beat to death, but what is important to notice is that the blacksmith never leaves it, he carefully watches it and molds it as he holds it over the fire. At the end, he has created a metal rose...a masterpiece.
That relates to us and trials. To quote President Faust in his 1979 talk about the refiner's fire:
"The Divine Shepherd has a message of hope, strength, and deliverance for all. If there were no night, we would not appreciate the day, nor could we see the stars and the vastness of the heavens. We must partake of the bitter with the sweet. There is a divine purpose in the adversities we encounter every day. They prepare, they purge, they purify, and thus they bless.
When we pluck the roses, we find we often cannot avoid the thorns which spring from the same stem.
Out of the refiner’s fire can come a glorious deliverance. It can be a noble and lasting rebirth. The price to become acquainted with God will have been paid. There can come a sacred peace. There will be a reawakening of dormant, inner resources. A comfortable cloak of righteousness will be drawn around us to protect us and to keep us warm spiritually. Self-pity will vanish as our blessings are counted."
We gave our kids a Prairie Diamond Ring to remember that when they are going through trials, Heavenly Father has not left them. 
There is also a pioneer story behind the Prairie Diamond:
PRAIRIE DIAMOND STORY: While crossing the plains to SLC . . . there were very little luxuries along the way. There’s a story of a young couple who wanted to get married but her father hope to dissuade the young man by insisting he first provide her with a diamond ring. While thinking of ways to get the ring to marry the girl he stumbled upon a horseshoe nail with a head shaped like a diamond. He took it to the blacksmith and had him bend it into a ring. The father was very impressed with the young man’s resolve and they were soon married. He promised his bride that when he could he would replace the ring. But each time over the years when he offered to get her a better ring she refused and said she loved her “prairie diamond.”
Trek is also very dirty. During John's devotional, he talked about keeping ourselves clean so that the Holy Spirit can dwell within us. He used the object lesson of a dirty muddy sock and asked if anyone wanted to put it on. No one did because it was disgusting. Likewise, no unclean thing can enter into the kingdom of heaven, and the Holy Ghost does not want to dwell in a place that isn't clean.
I embroidered handkerchiefs for them to keep as momentos and hopefully use in the future as they participate in temple dedications or even use them on their missions.
On the third day, we scrapped what we had planned and just asked the kids to share their thoughts. They were so spiritually mature and taught us far more than we could have taught them, I really enjoyed hearing what they shared.
I am counting this experience as a miracle, or a tender mercy:
One of the girls in my company shared with me a little about some pretty heavy trials that she is going through. When she received a letter from her parents at trek, her dad also wrote about the refiner's fire. She said,
"Two times on trek I have been taught about the refiner's fire. I guess it's something I really needed to hear."
I know that wasn't a coincidence. Elder Bednar says that tender mercies from the Lord can be identified by the TIMING and the CIRCUMSTANCES surrounding the events. That just cannot be a coincidence that her trek Ma and her earthly father were both inspired to offer her the same form of encouragement from a loving Heavenly Father.
It was also a tender mercy to me, maybe even more than it was to my trek daughter because it confirmed that the effort I put into the spiritual preparation for trek was noticed, and used by a loving Heavenly Father to make a difference in someone's life. That's a great feeling!
Another miracle was the inspired process in which our trek family was created. Brother Fitzgerald, our trail boss told us that they prayed and fasted over every name placement with each family in their company. They would place the names of kids with Ma's and Pa's and it would either feel wrong, or really right.
I appreciated that they talked about that because during one of our devotionals one of my trek sons shared that he had really hoped he would have at least one friend in his trek family. And it wasn't a coincidence that he did! A loving Heavenly Father knew he needed that to feel comfortable and as a tender mercy gave that to him.
I think the biggest blessings that John and I received from Trek was just the love that we felt within our trek family. Before trek, I talked to a friend whose trek experience wasn't the greatest, because of a youth in her family that didn't want to be there, had a terrible attitude, and was a major disciplinary problem. I was so afraid that that would happen to John and me. What will we do if they don't listen to us? Or if they don't want to work? Or if they aren't kind?
It didn't take us long to realize that we had choice kids in our family. Each and every one of them was exceptional. We marveled at the love we could feel for strangers, but I suppose that after serving them for months prior to trek, then during the intense experiences of trek, it makes sense that we would feel Heavenly Father's love for them. We would walk behind the handcart and watch them pushing together as a team, caring for each other, laughing together and would marvel at how we were blessed to see them as Heavenly Father sees them. We could see their large spirits shining bright. We didn't see social status or their faults...we saw THEM. We marveled at the caliber of spirits that Heavenly Father has sent to earth in the form of our youth.
Prior to trek, as I mentioned in an earlier post, the adversary was working on me so hard. Everything felt like a huge burden, I was doubting my decision to go, everything was going wrong....I was packing and Carter was following me around the house crying "Don't leave us!" As a mother, Satan knows where to get me.
"How can I leave my kids? What if I am hurt or even die like that lady in Oklahoma?" Then the next thought came:
"Maybe I just shouldn't go."
As soon as that thought came, it was followed by an intense feeling,
"But I'm SUPPOSED to do this. My trek family needs me, and I need them. I love them." I was overcome with a feeling that I had experienced that moment before. An intense Deja vu like no other. Perhaps I had seen it in a dream, I don't know but it gave me the resolve to continue preparing with faith that everything would work out alright.
Here is the amazing part. While we were on trek, two of the girls in my family had similar experiences where they had an intense deja vu moment. We would be talking and then all of a sudden they would stop in their tracks and say,
"This is really weird but I feel like I've seen or experienced this moment before. Like I dreamed it or saw it."
Then during devotional on the second night, as the trek kids were sharing their thoughts, one of the boys said "I'm starting to recognize how the Spirit feels while I'm here. In fact, it's weird but I've had a sensation like I've seen this before." We all freaked out, but in a good way.
"Us too! What does it mean?"
I have thought about this a lot. At trek, I told them that whenever I have one of those experiences, they seem to be at points in my life I like to call a "checkpoint". I believe when those kinds of things happen, it's Heavenly Father's way of letting me know that I am on the right path and have made a good choice. That I am exactly where He wants me to be. Perhaps it has affected the course my life will take.
Since trek, I have spoken with other youth about their experiences and one of my piano students asked me,
"Did you feel like you knew your family before? Like, before you came to earth? Because everyone in my family felt that, and I felt it too." Mind you, this is coming from a very intellectual kid who isn't really inclined towards spiritual things. I was flabbergasted to hear this coming out of his mouth, but then I thought,
"Yeah, I think that did happen to us."
I was unprepared for the motherly love I would feel for my trek kids. I believe this is one of the biggest blessings I have gleaned from the experience.
On the first day of trek, we met the kids in our family and then immediately loaded busses and drove for an hour to the ranch just outside of Evanston Wyoming. I took the opportunity to get to know the kids in my company, and asked them tons of questions about their lives, where they live, etc. I ended up spending most of the time talking to one of my trek sons who came across as not extremely shy, but just one of those people that doesn't let just anyone know their thoughts or feelings. I recognized that I had to earn his trust and friendship and I set out to do just that.
Once we arrived at the ranch, we loaded up our handcarts then gathered together for some safety instructions. As we were receiving instructions, this particular son was standing in front of me. Suddenly he turned and looked right at me. I thought it was really weird.
Then his eyes rolled back in his head and I realized that he had probably been locking his knees. He was going down! Mama instincts kicked in and I pulled him towards me to catch his fall. Even though he was VERY heavy and I in all likelihood was NOT strong enough to catch him, I still felt inspired to tell him,
"I've got you."
And then I yelled for John.....HELP! Luckily with John's combined strength we could safely get him down and he recovered very quickly.
At the end of trek, I felt like I had formed a motherly bond with this kid. I was and would always be his trek ma. As we were loading up on the busses to go home, I felt prompted to call him aside and ask him,
"Do you remember on the first day when you passed out, what I said to you when I caught you?"
"No, I don't," he said.
"I said, I've got you. I want you to know that I've still got you. Even after trek is over."
This kid who was at the beginning of trek very closed off and private, actually came up to me and hugged me! He even gave me the satisfaction of telling me, "Trek didn't suck as much as I thought it would." I knew that I had earned his trust and maybe even made a difference in his life. It was a great feeling.
I've thought about this a lot since then. I thought that experience was for my trek son, but I can see now that it was actually a teaching moment for me. The Spirit reminded me that before trek I fretted and worried and doubted and stewed, but exercised faith that Heavenly Father would help me, and not only did He help me but gave me a life changing and character building experience.
How many other things does Heavenly Father call me to do, that I fret and stress and stew and doubt about?
Just as I sought to earn the trust of my son on trek, my Heavenly Father has been seeking to earn my trust as well. It's as if He was saying to me,
"See, I've got you."
Just as I loved and felt invested in this trek son and all of my trek children after just four days, Heavenly Father is invested in me a million times more.
"For this is my work and my glory, to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man."
I can no longer doubt that. I have a renewed trust and faith in my Heavenly Father like I've never had before, and it was worth every penny spent, minute of time spent preparing, every blister, every sacrifice, every moment away from my beloved children in order to gain that.
A person cannot deny that this is HIS work when they see as many miracles and experience the things that I have since being baptized into this church 20 years ago. Although His work may be facilitated by imperfect people, it is real, and true, and wonderful. I love it!
No comments:
Post a Comment