Monday, August 31, 2015

The Ashley Madison Effect

This thing with the Ashley Madison hack has really got me worked up this week.  It's not that I didn't know that people cheat on their spouses.   I know firsthand the devastating effects of infidelity through the choices of both my father and stepfather.  I suppose I had just turned a blind eye as to how absolutely prevalent it has become.

This week a news story hits and it is in your face that someone is turning a profit by offering a convenient website that exists to allow men and women....government employees whom we have trusted to run our country, ESPN reporters, and even Christian and family advocates...

(ok, but was anyone on this earth really surprised that Snooki's husband had an account?)

to have sexual relations with someone other than their spouse?  That same spouse that they stood up in front of their family and friends and swore before God that they would honor, cherish and protect?
The same spouse that they have built a family with?

"No!" my heart has cried.

(Okay, be prepared, this is going to sound like an angry rant.  Maybe it is a little bit, but it has an uplifting ending.)

Families should be a loving and stable unit, with a mother and a father and all of the wonderful dynamics each gender offers to support and nurture and provide for the loving and fulfilling of the developmental needs of their children so that they can grow up as healthy and whole individuals who contribute to society!

I felt sad, deep down in my heart that I live in a society where people not only tolerate adultery, but even celebrate it.  I shouldn't be surprised... history has shown that this is not a new way of thinking.  Even in the Book of Mormon, anti-Christ Korihor taught false doctrine to the people including the lie that there are no absolute moral standards, and that people should be able to pursue personal gratification without any fear of punishment or guilt, which is basically the philosophy I can see any day on almost any television program.

It's even echoed in Ashley Madison's company slogan which is "Life is short.  Have an affair."

The part that made me feel the most sad, is knowing that this way of thinking hurts families, especially children, and it hurts their chances of returning to Heavenly Father.  I know this from personal experience.  The Plan of Salvation doesn't work when God can't count on us, as families, moms and dads and everyone else in the family to nurture and support each other during this journey back home.  My heart has hurt for all of the broken hearts of the loved ones affected by the Ashley Madison website.  Even for Snooki.

I guess thats a really long way of saying, I've been feeling kind of down this week about the general and prevalent breakdown of the family unit.

It was with that state of mind that I took my kids to a water park this afternoon.  I don't like to get in the water if I don't have to, and thankfully my older girls were in the mood to play with their four year old sister so I was able to sunbathe and observe from afar.

My heart swelled with joy as I watched them hold little Sissy's hand and guide her into the water, they protected her from splashing by rowdy adolescent boys, they gave her piggy back rides and played peekaboo and strengthened their bonds of love in their sisterly relationships.

I began people watching and saw fathers who had given up their Saturdays to spend time having fun with their kids.  They were playing with them and protecting them.  I saw mommies nursing babies, kissing boo boos,  and catching their little ones as they slid down the waterslide.  I saw grandmothers loving on their grandchildren and helping their daughters and sons, and I saw other brothers and sisters playing cutely and lovingly interacting with their little brothers and sisters.  I saw people practicing patience, and sharing, and kindness, and manners, and all manner of things with their families.  I saw God in all of it.  I  saw Christ everywhere.

My frame of mind began to shift.  My mind turned to the scripture  in the Book of Mormon from Moroni Chapter 7:

12 Wherefore, all things which are good cometh of God...
13 But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually

There was so much good around me, there were so many types of people...tattooed and pierced people, scantily clad heavy and skinny people, rough around the edges and classy people all doing good and loving things for their families.

It struck me that although the adversary is gaining more ground, God is so much more present.  The adversary's arrogance only allows him to think of himself, but God is all knowing and omnipresent.  He is everywhere and so much more powerful.

I saw the light of Christ within every family I observed.  I marveled at the sanctity of family relationships, and the significance of the family unit.  The family really IS of God.  And there are still so many wonderful people that are doing their very best, doing it very well, and who are trying very hard.

And just like that, my heart was and is no longer troubled.  I feel motivated to try even harder to work on helping to make my family something Father in Heaven would be proud of.  With His help, I know that I can.


Action Items this Week


Monday:
- walk with Emily
- take van to shop
- babysist neighbor kids
- prepare Huli Huli chicken marinade for dinner tomorrow
- make appointment for dog to be groomed
- make eye appointment - what's up with this floater in my vision?
- take the gold pillows out of the front room and remove the gold off of the piano bench - I don't like it
- make arrangements for John's 40th bday trip

- help mom make reservations for next year's family reunion
- Family Home Evening: Making a Family Sabbath Day Plan


Tuesday:
- Walk with Emily
- pick blackberries at Carries
-find out a good gluten free blackberry cobbler recipe
- set out garbage
- copy Carrie's music and return it
- deep clean the master shower and bathtub
- find a hotel for California trip
- make visiting teaching appointments

Wednesday:
- Walk with Emily
- prepare for group lessons
- find cd's of family pictures so I can print out two new 8 x 10 portraits for picture wall


- work on conversion story 
- Playgroup for Sicily


- prepare biweekly menu and grocery list

Thursday:

- grocery shopping

- spray the weeds in the front yard
- update emergency kit with clothes that fit
- finish reading the Book of Mosiah


- fix Carter's flat bike tire

Friday:

- shop for kids clothing needs
- find twigs for the vases in the front room

- Smith and Edwards for emergency prep water storage bin/ also do group lessons shopping
- South Weber Swim Day
 
Saturday:
- Visit mom and dad at the Heber Camp, try another wilderness course


Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Favorites

These were winning recipes that my family loved:

Mom's spaghetti and chicken casserole with gluten free spaghetti


I'm definitely going to be adding these to my "Go To Meals" Menu List

Favorite Hairstyles:


This one for going out with greasy hair by Barefoot Blonde




Favorite spiritual boost of the week:
Elder M. Russell Ballard's talk in the Ensign, Disciples and the Defense of Marriage
Oh man, he nailed it.

Best quote:
Disciples of the Lord are defenders of traditional marriage. We cannot yield. History is not our judge. A secular society is not our judge. God is our judge!

Favorite housekeeping tip:  How to get armpit stains out of whites


Best crafty find:  Chalkboard Pen for my family calendar DIY project
I got it at JoAnne's for like $5.  I already had yellow spray paint and the chalkboard was $6 with the coupon.  The chalkboard pen will only wipe off with water, without water will stay forever!

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Action Items This Week

Monday:
- walk with Emily
- make spaghetti casserole ahead of time with leftover chicken
- catalog family photos from the family reunion and update family blog
- prepare bonus cards for piano students
- meet with naturopath about bladder and ulcer issues
- figure out what to do to help my eyelashes grow back
- finish making the gold pillows for the front room
- chiropractor appt.
- Family Home Evening: service night at Grandma and Grandpas cleaning their house and mowing the lawn.
- get Cafe Rio dressing for dinner on Weds.

Tuesday:
- Walk with Emily
- make enchiladas with leftover beef
- mix marinades for steak and pork chops later this week
- be sure to read to Sissy 30 min. every day
- follow up on the problem with the air conditioning warranty
- arrange to have shelf and door fixed
- call about having brakes inspected.
- wash cups from the church nursery
- lunch with Danette and Sarah
- set out garbage
- grocery store
- copy Carrie's music and return it

Wednesday:
- Walk with Emily
- prepare for group lessons
- print out two new 8 x 10 portraits for picture wall
- fix Carter's flat bike tire
- fix Chloe's sandals
- prepare to go to the temple on Thurs, iron dress and have an ancestor card ready
- Playgroup for Sicily

Thursday:
- spray the weeds in the front yard
- update emergency kit with clothes that fit
- finish reading the Book of Jacob
- whiten teeth
- work on conversion story from speaking in church last week
- begin making plans for John's 40th bday party
- follow up with the dealer on the van recall parts
- plan game night with friends from the old neighborhood

Friday:
- date with John/ lunch with Eric and Betty
- take kids to Lagoon after early out
- call Cousin Jan


Saturday:
- work on shirt stains
- look for white undershirts for the girls
- find black shoes for Clara's choir concert
- dinner with Jake and Ali

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

I was guided to this speech this week and I can't stop reading and studying it.

You Were Born to Lead, You Were Born For Glory, by Sheri Dew

I have a major girl crush on Sheri Dew, President of Deseret Book Company.
I mean, I go straight from the first stage of fan girl (I've read all of your books and talks) to the nearly creepy stalker stage "I would like to be you," or at least, maybe "adopted by you as your favorite little sister."

She is intelligent, quick witted, strong, faithful, classy, so so so funny, down to earth and has a way of explaining things that inspires me and pierces straight to my heart.

She's a cancer survivor, president of a major company, motivational speaker, author, and on just about every state, national and worldwide committee or board that you can imagine.  

Did I mention that I love her?

You MUST read this talk.  Every young girl must read it too.  Let me entice you with this snippet:

Do you know what we believe? Do you know there is power in the doctrine of Christ to change and overcome weakness? Do you realize that the scriptures contain the answer to every life dilemma? A casual understanding of the gospel will not sustain you through the days ahead, which is why it is imperative that you immerse yourself in the word of God.
This spring I spent two weeks at the United Nations as a White House delegate to an international commission. As I listened to women from around the world debate complex social problems, I didn’t hear them raise one issue that couldn’t be solved by living the gospel. Not one.
There is power in the word.
I LOOOOOOVVVVEEE THIS ONE, and can speak from personal experience that this is true.  
Repentance is, frankly, just plain smart, because sin makes you stupid: Stupid because you are deaf, dumb, and blind to the ways of the Lord. Stupid because habitual sin drives the Spirit away, leaving you outside the protective influence of the Holy Ghost. Stupid because it makes you incapable of drawing upon the powers of heaven. Being stupid costs a lot.
Sin costs a lot, too. It can cost time, money, peace of mind, progress, self-respect, your integrity and virtue, your family, the trust of those you love, and even your Church membership.
Sin is just plain stupid. And the cost is off the charts. So repent now. Repent daily. If you want to be sanctified, repentance is not optional.
Obedience, on the other hand, is brilliant, and its fruits are endless—one of which is happiness. The only way that I know to be happy is to live the gospel.
It is not possible to sin enough to be happy. It is not possible to buy enough to be happy or to entertain or indulge yourself enough to be happy. Happiness and joy come only when you are living up to who you are. 
I want to live up to who I am every day in every way.  Speeches like these make me believe I can!

Monday, August 17, 2015

Gluten Free Snacks

Since discovering I have a wheat allergy, I have not really enjoyed this whole lifestyle change into the Gluten Free world.  I was perfectly content to just eat Udi's bread, cheese and Rice Krispies the rest of my life, but since Chloe is showing signs of wheat intolerance, I have been trying to seek out more gluten free options.

Leftover bananas provided me with the opportunity to try this new recipe for muffins by Whole Lifestyle Nutrition.  I was enticed by the "Only 5 minutes to make" hook, and of course, I had to use peanut butter and put chocolate chips into them.

They were really easy to make.  But when they came out of the oven they fell and I thought "Oh no," but once I put them on a plate they didn't look so bad.
  At least Clara was willing to try them...
"Gluten free?  I'm not so sure about this."

"Not bad!  Too much banana though."
 Cousin McKenna says, "Just ok.  More chocolate chips and less banana."

 I probably won't make them again for kids, but for myself they would be awesome to throw in the freezer and have for on-the-go snacks.

Update - Day 2 the muffins were absolutely perfect and so good that I ate the rest myself!
With no sugar and no flour, I have a feeling they is going to be my easy go-to snack of the season.

But since we are talking gluten free - I just have to give a shout out to my friend Kim for introducing me to these CHEAP  Pamela's cookies she gets at the Bakery outlet.  I can't even tell they are gluten free.  



  Enjoy!

Festival Hair Sea Salt Spray

Festival Hair Sea Salt Spray from A Beautiful Mess

1 cup warm water
1 teaspoon coconut-scented conditioner 
1/2 teaspoon coconut oil
1 teaspoon sea salt
small squirt of gel
Oh my goodness this stuff is amazing.  Just spray and scrunch while it air dries.  It's the first time I've been able to just scrunch and go with wet hair and it doesn't look awful and frizzy.  Life changing!

This week's action items


Monday:
- Walk with Emily
- Try new festival hair spray from A Beautiful Mess
- Food planning for family campout
- Carter's 4th grade meet and greet
- Prepare Back to School Family Home Evening lesson on clean language, with C.L.E.A.N. cards
https://www.lds.org/bc/content/ldsorg/children/resources/topics/CleanTalkCards_horiz.pdf
- Make something with the leftover bananas
- Chloe and me to chiropractor
- Carter gets his wart frozen
- Cystic Fibrosis Food Truck Fest for dinner
- food shopping for the family reunion
- get Chloe to dance, turn in forms for competition team uniform
- wash sheets and towels
- fold laundry

Tuesday:
- Teach piano all day
- put away folded laundry
- Clara's choir retreat, bring a drink and dress to get wet
- Make potato salad for the reunion
- Help kids pack for the reunion, pack myself
- Find air mattresses and make sure they don't have any leaks

Weds:
- Get ice for the cooler
- Picture day at the school
- Sundevil day
- Pack up van and leave for Heber family reunion

Thursday:
- Return from family reunion
- Back to school night 6:30pm
- Create two week menu and grocery shopping list

Friday:
- Visiting Teaching appointment
- Grocery shopping
- Shop for group lessons piano store
- Order Doterra stuff
- Send out piano calendars
- Copy Halloween sheet music for students

Sunday, August 16, 2015

My Vanity is the Constant Enemy of my Dignity


I suppose my first post will be about an incident that has occurred within my over-a-decade long foray into the world of beauty.

The other day I noticed that the phrase "Virginia girl" was listed in the urban dictionary. I was curious, so I looked up it's meaning, thinking it was going to say something like how awesome Virginia girls are, or that they are so beautiful. And I felt a little cool because I wasn't having to look up something I had seen behind a hashtag on my kid's Instagram comments for a change. 

Here's what it said:


A girl who don't take care of themself i.e. not wearing make-up, not brushing their hair, not showering on a daily basis, etc. A lot of times either morbidly obese or a freakish skeleton.

A: Check out that chubby chick with the swamp hair. Has she not heard of the invention of make-up? 
S: What do you expect? She's a Virginia Girl!

Second definition:

1.having jacked up teeth 
2.thinking they know what a "poof" looks like 
3.being ugly in general 
4.being jealous of girls 4 states away

I was offended!
How dare they talk about Virginia girls that way!
I sulked for a few minutes until I remembered how I used to look and dress when I lived in Virginia:


Talk about jacked up teeth and hair.
In this one, I'm even proving my point by wearing a Virginia t-shirt!!!!


Wait for it.....
this one's my favorite.....


Gaaakkkk. It's painful to look at. Yes, I'm aware that most Virginia girls are very put together, and yes, I'm aware that I was still beautiful on the inside and all of that... but the urban dictionary reminded me of something that even my mother noticed when she moved to Utah a few years ago: everyone in Utah is so BEAUTIFUL! Even the lady at the checkout line, and the kids working at the car wash, and ESPECIALLY at Target and City Creek. 
 (People shopping at Walmarts anywhere are the obvious exemption to this observation.) 

As a tomboy child, I had a long way to go as far as caring about my appearance once I became a young adult. How I managed to get myself engaged, I'll never know, but I remember my first day getting ready in the morning with my roommates at BYU. I jumped out of the shower, threw on my t-shirt and jeans, and was brushing my teeth before heading out the door with wet hair when I noticed that my roommate was actually running her curling iron down every section of her hair. 

"That must take her forever to get ready!" I thought, while inwardly scoffing at her. 

"I will NEVER be the kind of girl that would do something so ridiculous!" 
 But after people asked me innocently why I never dressed up...."For what?" I would respond.
At some point, I think I realized that when in Rome, why not just do as the Romans do?

Plus I began to learn about looking nice for your husband, and after all, he took pains to look nice for me so I should extend the same courtesy.  Plus....I wanted to learn how to look pretty.  
I mean, come on, who doesn't?

And so began my introduction to fashion, beauty, hair and make-up which has taken decades of learning from scratch, lots of patient advice and tips from my fabulous sister-in-laws, and many many mistakes. One about which I want to write about today. 

Eyelashes.

I have this thing about long eyelashes. I want them. I think they look so beautiful. Maybe it's because I like vintage things, I don't know but Alicia Vikander proves my point in a movie I just watched this weekend: "The Man from U.N.C.L.E". 


I couldn't stop looking at her eyelashes. I think they do so much for the eyes and for femininity in general. 

Anytime I have a situation where I know I am going to need to go heavier on the make-up, such as family pictures, a formal event or public speaking engagement, I always want to make my lashes look more full. Not wanting to spend the money for professional lash extensions, my quest began with a search for the best mascara possible. The problem is that my lashes are short and stubby and so mascara doesn't do any good. So then I tried false lash strips with glue.

EVERY time I have tried false lashes it has ended in fiasco. They are always uneven and crooked and it takes me forever to put them on. Once I was speaking at my niece's baptism and the corner came off while I was speaking. It flapped every time I blinked and blinded me, and looked ridiculous.

So why I got it in my head that I would try individual lashes when I had to speak in church last Sunday is beyond me. I did a you tube tutorial and thought I knew what I was doing. I'll admit, they looked beautiful! I couldn't stop looking at my eyes in the mirror they were just what I've always wanted and they didn't look fake. 

The problem?...they started to bug me. I put on waaaaayyy too much glue and I could see the globs of glue in my line of vision. I started to itch them and tug and pull, then I couldn't take it anymore so I headed to the bathroom to use the special removing liquid stuff.
They wouldn't come off! 
 I put so much of that stuff on there that I burned my eyeball. I pulled to hard and yanked out my real eyelashes with them. I kept rubbing, I kept trying...they would not come off.

I'm going on day 8 now and I'm still struggling with this. Every night I have a freak out and claw and scratch at my eyes, itching and willing them to come off.  I twist them, I try and scratch off the glue.  It doesn't matter.
Every morning I wake up and they are pointing in different directions, so I have to re-train them into place. I try to wipe off my eye makeup at night with a cotton ball, and because they are plastic the cotton hairs get stuck in them and look ridiculous. 
"This is my punishment for vanity," I think every morning as I repeat my process in desperation. Slowly over the course of this week, one or two will fall out a day and there's a minor celebration. All on my right eye, none on my left. I'm beginning to look like I'm pieced together like a Nightmare Before Christmas character. But there's nothing I can do!

This morning I woke up and one of the false lashes had turned completely around on my eyelid, so it was pointing downward. It still would not come off. 



I took a shower, I used more glue. It would not come off. It would not twist upward.  I was faced with the dilemma: do I leave it like this throughout church today, or do I pull out more eyelashes?


I pulled out more eyelashes. And now you can see on the top picture that one eye has no more false lashes, and now significantly less real lashes that will probably never grow back and the other one still has a full set. And that is how I went to church today people. 

Have I learned my lesson?

Nope.

As soon as the other ones fall off, I'll probably do it again because I love having eyelashes so dang much. And as Julian Casablancas said, 
Vanity can easily overtake wisdom.  It usually overtakes common sense. 
Although this time....
I will most definitely use less glue.